Back in October, I bought L an antique Stickley Brothers rocking chair, circa 1910. I purchased the chair at a gallery in St. Paul, MN while traveling on business. It arrived in Florida in early December, and I managed to hide the chair until its unveiling in the nursery on Christmas morning. I really wanted this to be a touching surprise, which I think it turned out to be (yes, L cried).

I don’t like much the gliders available at stores, such as Babies ‘r Us. They’re not very appealing visually and don’t seem to be especially well made. I think of those gliders as “throw away” furniture that we simply wouldn’t keep once it lived out its all-to-brief usefulness (or simply fell apart).

In contrast, I think the antique rocker gives the nursery real character. And, it’s kind of cool for Emerson to use a rocking chair that’s almost a century older than her. Indeed, the chair is old enough that her great-grandfather could have been rocked in at as a baby!

We hope that the chair will stay in the family and be used by future generations.

For New Year’s Day, I thought I’d finally do the “big reveal” on the baby’s name:

We actually picked the name “Emerson” back in June, shortly after we confirmed that L was indeed pregnant and with a single child. We opted for selecting a first name quickly because we really liked the idea of referring to the baby by his/her (at the time we didn’t know) permanent name.

Why? I don’t know — perhaps, it made the pregnancy seem more tangible.

Of course, we didn’t know the sex of the baby. But, because we wanted a name (rather than two possible options), we turned to the lists of unisex names. In theory, I philosophically prefer the concept of a non-gendered name anyway. For example, when Emerson eventually applies for a job, her gender will be less (or not) obvious on a resume or curriculum vitae. That seems like a good thing to me—less of a chance for bias.

We scanned the list of unisex names and both agreed—immediately and without hesitation—that we would, in fact, be the parents of an “Emerson.” It fit us (and our imagined offspring) like a glove.

Emerson isn’t a family name. Emerson isn’t based on the transcendentalist poet, Ralph Waldo (though it is a happy accident). Emerson also isn’t based on the low-cost consumer electronics firm either (though it’s a funny suggestion that I’ve used in response to the inevitable—at least in our circle of acquaintances—transcendentalist poet question). Finally, Emerson isn’t exclusively a “boy’s name” (despite what some post on the “baby name” message boards… my message to those people: opinions are like assholes — everybody has one and nobody is especially interested in yours).

Emerson is simply a name that we fell in love with because it’s somewhat unique but not strange (largely unused today for boys but rising in popularity for girls), has a strength about it (which I’m sure any daughter of ours will exhibit too), and somehow it just fits us / our family (which all of our closest friends have recognized immediately upon hearing the selection).

As for Abigail…

There was less magic here.

While we immediately loved Emerson, we sort of agonized (for months and months) over a middle name until we finally came to a decision yesterday. We had originally thought about using a middle name that started with “M” as that’s the same middle initial both L and I share (Margaret and Michael, respectively). However, L wanted to avoid family names (including her own), and I wasn’t too pleased with many of the other “M” options (aside from maybe Marlowe or Mae). Other options we considered included Eleanor / Eleanora, Olivia, Grace, Avery, and Aubrey.

In the end, we settled on Abigail. Like Emerson, it’s a strong name (I tend to think of Abigail Adams amongst others). It has a classic and timeless feel. It’s obviously female, remarkably common these days, and suitable for many nicknames – all good points just in case Emerson doesn’t like “Emerson” (or our thinking behind it) as much as we do. And, it sounds good in conjunction with Emerson and our last name (which is also pretty WASPish).

So, Emerson Abigail it is…

I’d planned on writing a post-Christmas summary of what’s been going on in Babyland.

However, I read something yesterday from our online friend and fellow blogger Myndi that simply broke my heart. She suffered a miscarriage on Dec 23. As a small sign of solidarity and in respect for her mourning, I’m going to defer further baby-related updates until after the New Year.

I was very shaken by this turn of events. Indeed, I cried (literally and which, frankly, surprised me) after reading what had happened and could hardly bring myself to tell L (who was also shaken and moved by the news). I’m not sure that I would have been more upset had Myndi been a friend in “real life” or even had she been a sister (of course, I’m an only child — so there’s really no way to know). Then again, our online IVF community is—in many ways—not detached from “real life”… indeed, I speak more of these matters to you (all two…perhaps three now… of you reading these posts) than I do to most of the people in the “real world.”

I also can’t imagine what it most be like to go through such a loss. I realize miscarriage is always an “option.” It is, in fact, a natural (if unpleasant) element of the process of human reproduction. Intellectually, I get that. Indeed, that’s one of the reasons why we opted for the shared risk program, which “protects” you by allowing multiple chances until you successfully bring home a live baby from the hospital. Yet, I also realize—now more than ever—that the program lacks any sort of emotional shared risk. And, that can be a far heavier burden to carry.

So, I find myself feeling sad about Myndi’s loss, grateful (and a bit guilty) for our good fortune, and really hopeful that things work out for Myndi and PB in the near future (as well as continue to run smoothly for us).

Well, it’s been a little while since my last update. As I seem to suck at keeping up this blogging thing, I thought I’d share a few recent “news” highlights.

Nursery Progress

I’ve finally finished the “construction work” in the nursery. It’s now painted and ready to fill with decorations / furniture (of which we’ve started… I just lack photos). Anyway, here are a few photos:

4D Ultrasound – Take Two

Last week, we did another 4D ultrasound at 29 weeks. We did the $100 “peek-a-boo” session. It was fun to “see” the baby again and reassuring to know that everything looks great. But, in all honesty the “wow factor” was kind of gone, because we’d already seen 3D images and (advice to those behind us) 29 weeks is a little late to get great pictures.

A little late? Huh?

Yes, a little late. You see, by this time, the baby is so large that there’s relatively little room free space in the womb. As a result, it’s difficult to get a full shot of anything without other structures/anatomy in the way. So, my advice would be to do a 4D ultrasound earlier even though the baby won’t be quite as baked yet.

Minor Crisis Averted

One morning this week, L freaked because her hands had starting swelling to the point that her wedding ring no longer fit without marked discomfort. She concluded that she simply couldn’t wear it to work. She was really upset. (Strange? Perhaps. But, she’s invested in these things.)

Anyway, she sent me a frantic text message later in the afternoon, confirming her worst fears. Apparently, some moron at work asked her “if something was wrong with Paul” based on the missing ring. Really? Who notices these things, on a pregnant woman nonetheless, and on the first day that the ring was “missing”? Get a life!

Fortunately, being the Greatest (and most modest) Husband in the History of the World, I’d already gone out that morning to a jewelry store and purchased her a “temporary” wedding ring (which is reasonably nice and just enough “non-wedding-bandy” that she can wear it decoratively on a larger finger on her other hand later).

Major bonus points, baby. Major points.

And it’s a reminder of my “Golden Rule of Pregnancy for Men”:

Last weekend, I started on the DIY projects in the soon-to-be nursery. Here’s photo of the work in progress:

I’ve now managed to get two coats of paint on the brown stripes. To make sure the coverage is even, I’ll be applying coat #3 and then re-masking for the pink stripe application. Once that’s completed, I’ll add the chair rail around the room (lumber already purchased).