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It can always get worse

Yesterday was tough. L and I talked for a number of hours about our low fertilization rate and what that might imply for the future. She was upset, worried, and dejected. I was mostly depressed.

Up to now, we’ve been very optimistic about our long-term chances of success with IVF. Our doctor seemed to feel good about us. We were accepted by and participated in a “shared risk program” (a sort of IVF package / insurance deal), which I’m sure uses actuarial tables to statistically minimize their risks.

L did a fine job cooking up the eggs. And, my spunk seemed dandy.

Yet, only 2 of the 7 eggs managed to fertilize. 2 of 7! That’s about 28%

Dr. Google tells me that IVF/ICSI usually has resulted in a 70% or higher fertilization rate in clinical trials. Of course, some unfortunate couples (about 3%) suffer from “total (or complete) fertilization failure,” meaning no eggs successfully fertilize through ICSI. The primary cause for ICSI fertilization failure seems to be (paraphrasing from the medical literature) either “fucked up sperm,” or “fucked up and/or too few eggs.” All of this leads me to believe that IVF will not be as easy as I’d hoped. 

Could we still be successful on this cycle? Yes.

But, yesterday was definitely a hard, cold slap of reality.

Time to repeat my Eeyorish mantra:

It can always get worse.

Today, we’ll find out how the embryos are doing.

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