I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m just a horrible blogger. I have three reasons:

1. I fail to write regularly.
2. I fail to even check my blog and respond to comments regularly.
3. I can’t even seem to report the “news” about related areas of my life.

It’s all very shameful. I should do better.

In my defense, I’ve become increasingly consumed with work since my promotion in July. I’m not complaining. I’m really happy doing what I do. But, it does distract me from other interests, especially as I usually end the day fulfilled in terms of doing work in my headspace (reading, writing, thinking).

Anyway, I apologize to my loyal readers (all two of you). I’d promise to do better, but I’d hate to lie.

P.S. All is well in babyland… the girls (Libby and the baby) are doing well.

Yesterday, we had the 20 week “anatomy” ultrasound. It’s a fairly extensive, in-womb check-up, involving the measurement and examination of many different body parts. All in all, I found the experience fairly spectacular to witness. Although, sometimes, I still struggle to fully comprehend that it’s “real.” I’m not sure if that’s a function of infertility struggle or just simply the routine clueless-ness derived from having a penis.

In any case, the baby is doing just fine and right on schedule.

Here are some pictures…

The classic profile in womb:

The baby sucking on its thumb:

The downright amazing (and, might I add, highly cute) 4D face image:

Boy or girl?

This was a real challenge to determine. At first, L’s bladder was a bit too full—obstructed view. She went to pee. Back on the table and jelly-bellied once more, the baby stuck out its tongue (literally) and then crossed its legs. The technician tried poking L’s belly… wiggle, wiggle but still crossed legs. The technician had L recline on her side… still crossed legs. After 10 minutes or so, she gave up and said that we’d try again after the visit with the doctor.

So, we returned to the ultrasound room about 30 minutes later. The legs were still crossed. And, now the hands and umbilical cord were down there too! No luck.

Finally, the tenacious technician suggested a trans-vaginal approach because the baby’s bottom was close to L’s cervix. Insert probe. Look carefully (because of hands, and feet, and cord all in the way).

SCORE! No “frank and beans” present. We’re having a little girl!

This is a big week. On Tuesday, L will reach week #20… the theoretical half-way point on this journey called pregnancy.

Friday will also be interesting. It’s the first ultrasound since the initial one at the RE’s office. In theory, we’ll learn whether or not we’re expecting a boy or a girl (yes, we… or at least L… wants to know). For the record, I don’t have a strong preference. If pushed, I think I’d probably say that I hope for a girl. But, really, I’m just hoping for healthy and happy.

More news to follow later this week…

A few days ago a new issue of Exhale Magazine came out. In a departure from the narrative of my column, Monica published the piece of creative non-fiction that got me started with Exhale. It’s called “Sticking It In My Wife’s Ass,” which isn’t nearly as dirty as it sounds. For those who’ve gone through IVF, I think you might enjoy this rather unique male perspective on “unnatural” bedroom acts.

I’ve pretty much come to the conclusion that until the proverbial bun is closer to exiting the oven expectant fathers have almost nothing to do. I’m not saying that L’s pregnancy has been dragging on forever… only that it’s pretty boring siting in the parking lot at Fatherland waiting for the gates to open. I think it’s one of the reasons—in addition to a lot of travel and work responsibilities—that I haven’t posted a lot on the blog lately. There’s really not a lot to talk about. Pregnancy-wise everything has been (blissfully) normal and uneventful.

In some ways, it’s a lot like the waiting to start IVF. Once the plan was in place and the treatment paid for, we pretty much just sat around and waited for the games to begin. My (online) friend Myndi, who’s getting ready to start an IVF cycle, was commenting on this the other day.

So, here we are: standing around in the kitchen….

She’s waiting for her dough to rise. For my part, I’m waiting for the cinnamon bun to get a little closer to done before I start making the icing and putting on the coffee.